Rosemary Anne's Birth Story
After many months of listening to and reading birth stories, I am so thankful and excited to share my own. First, I thought I'd go back to figuring out what kind of birth I wanted and why. At some point, it became important to me how my birth would go and that I would have a voice in my options and feel empowered. Before feeling this way, I assumed I'd find out we were expecting, go to the doctor and do everything I was told without questioning (for the most part) from the beginning of the process to the end. I don't know exactly when that changed, but I know hearing the story of a friend who had an incredible home birth and hearing stories from other women on the podcast The Birth Hour made a huge difference in wanting to know my options and beginning to do my research.
We loved getting to find out that baby Adkins was a girl with folks we love!
My due date was May 1, 2019. I continued working and feeling pretty great for the most part. I was surprised how tired I was ALL the time. Not that it's surprising that growing a human is tiring, I just hadn't experienced it so I didn't realize just how tired I'd be. I had some normal swelling occasionally, but nothing ever too bad. Around 37 or 38 weeks I started having a lot of back pain, but I'd heard about an awesome chiropractor who specialized in prenatal care, Dr. Kayla Deshotel, so I started seeing her a couple of times a week until my due date and it really helped.
So after lots of research, our plan from the beginning was to just let baby come when she was ready, as opposed to setting an induction date. I had no idea that was going to turn into a whole thing. I thought it was interesting/amusing/at times frustrating how people reacted to that decision. At 20 weeks, a nurse at a prenatal visit was scheduling out my appointments and asked if I'd like to choose my induction date then. AT TWENTY WEEKS. I don't say this to criticize her, but I was in complete shock that it felt like I was being pushed to induce instead of letting my baby and body work together for her to come on her own. And this is not to knock anyone who chooses induction. I told my husband all along that if it was medically necessary, I would not hesitate to be induced. I was later informed by my doula and doctor that I was considered a "rebel" for choosing not to induce. Wild. This was all just new territory for me and I didn't realize induction was the new norm. I just assumed that babies still came like they have been from the beginning of time, and, you know..like in all the movies and stuff. Ha.
So May 1st quickly approached and TBH I was getting pretty nervous. Nervous about giving birth. Nervous about being responsible for a tiny human. Nervous that I wouldn't be getting to do things I wanted to do or sleep. I started going to my weekly prenatal visits and Dr. Shemwell said that I was progressing and everything was looking favorable for labor. May 1st came and I was still pregnant. I went to what would be my last prenatal appointment and my doctor suggested a membrane sweep if I would like to avoid a medical induction. We did that and I went back to work. Like a dummy. I had a contraction or two at work, although I didn't know until days later that that was actually a contraction. I was in a lot of pain, so I headed home that afternoon. I took a nap and just took it really easy that evening. I decided not to go into work Friday and all of my work was done for the week, so I got lots of rest and woke up Friday ready to conquer the world and meet our girl! We went to Kiroli Park with the dogs and walked the trails (mind you, I'm over 40 weeks pregnant). We walked a modest 3ish miles. After grabbing some lunch and resting a little, I got my second wind and wanted to work in the garden. So we worked in the garden for the next 6 hours. I had some super manageable contractions that night. I used an app to time them. They were not consistent and not super painful so I didn't worry about it.
Saturday, I slept in and Jesse made us breakfast. We just rested, played Settlers of Catan and did a few last minute things to prepare for baby girl. Some of our good friends, Thom and Bekah, were in town from Alabama, we went to get Indian food and ice cream with them. I'd had inconsistent contractions off and on all day, but all very manageable. I had some contractions during dinner. Bekah is a doctor so I felt pretty safe and confident that I was good to just keep on as I was. Our plan was to just labor at home as long as possible before going to the hospital because I wanted to avoid medication and medical intervention. So we headed home from that dinner and I continued to have some contractions, getting a little more intense. But I'd never been in labor or had contractions, so I thought they were probably just very minor regular contractions or just intense Braxton-Hicks contractions.
I woke up at 2:45 a.m. on May 5th to a super intense contraction that got me out of bed and brought me to my knees. My water had slightly broken, but not like the splash you hear about, just a trickle. I got through the contraction and woke Jesse up with a "this is it"! He frantically got out of bed and came to help me. He started the contraction timer so that we could see how long they were and how far apart. One problem, they were longer and there was less time between them than what we'd learned about in classes or heard about. I thought..I'm sure my labor will be 12 hours. It's so rare for people to have quick labors, especially first-time moms. I'm sure we have time. Time for what, you ask? Why, to wash my hair, of course! It seemed like a really good idea at the time. I told Jesse and he said, "um..you think maybe we should call the doula and/or go to the hospital?" Absurd. Why would we do that?! So he started the shower for me and as I had one contraction on top of the other (no breaks in between), I decided that, yes, we should definitely call the doula and head to the hospital. Unless he's changed his mind about us having a home birth. Ha. (Just kidding, Mom!). Side note: In between these intense contractions, my body would bear down and push (fetal ejection reflex). I couldn't control it and it was such a weird experience. Our doula headed to our house to assess where we were, but after Jesse got everything in the car and I got dressed, I decided that I needed to be at the hospital, like, two hours ago, so we got in the car and headed to the hospital. Jesse called the doula back and asked her to head to the hospital. She was near our house, so she turned around and got on the interstate.
The next part of the story is one of Jesse's favorite parts (other than the meeting our daughter part). We got to Wallace Rd. (where the speed limit is 35 MPH). Jesse may or may not have doubled that. As he (my sweet, rule-following husband) sped down the road (with his flashers on) and I had a break from contractions I leaned over and said, "I'm so proud of you for speeding!" Ha. We got to the hospital (in record time). Jesse was communicating with our doula, called St. Francis L & D to let them know we were coming, gave me water and snacks (in between contractions), comforted, encouraged and praised me all while getting us there safely. He is a rockstar.
We arrived at SF a little after 4:00 a.m. Another detail that Jesse enjoyed from this part of the story is that when he got off the interstate, the hospital was RIGHT THERE. But in order to get right there, he had to turn the wrong way down a one-way street. Also, there was cop in the parking lot. He went for it anyway. We thought the officer would understand, and he did. We pulled into the ER parking area and walked to the elevators. One of my fears about going to the hospital in labor is that we were going to be required by security to give our IDs in order to go up to L & D (standard safety practice at SF) and get the slowest worker on earth (picture the sloth from Zootopia), who we'd encountered when we got checked in for our L & D tour a few weeks earlier. Thankfully, he was not working that night and the man working was absolutely terrified of my pregnant, laboring self so he gave us a pass.
We got checked in and headed to a L & D room. Side note, when we toured the hospital a few weeks before that, I'd asked about rooms that had tubs you could labor in. The nurse explained that there was only one updated room that had a tub you could labor in, but it was first come, first serve and very unlikely that we'd get that room. We got that room, but in true Alanis Morissette style (isn't it ironic?) I barely had time to labor in the hospital bed, much less the tub. Anywho, my contractions were pretty long and close together. One of the nurses checked me and, to my great disappointment, I was only 5 CM dilated. I thought that if I was in this much pain and only at a 5 that they could go ahead and bring that epidural and maybe a cupcake. I was experiencing the fetal ejection reflex (it is about as fun as it sounds), which means my body was bearing down and pushing without my help. After the nurses realized that my body was pushing and baby was as low as she could be without being born they frantically called Dr. Shemwell. She arrived ten minutes later (love her!).
She told me that baby was REALLY low and I could push when I was ready. I could not wrap my head around what she was saying because I was only dilated to a 5. I was sure my labor was going to be another 8 hours. Out of all the hundreds of birth stories I'd read and listened to, I'd never heard of anyone delivering before they were complete (10 CM dilated). I looked to Jesse for confirmation because I did not believe the doctor (who went to medical school and worked with pregnant women everyday..oops). He said, "it's true, I can see her head!" So I gave a few mighty pushes and at 5:46 on May 5th, our precious daughter, Rosemary Anne, was born. It was completely surreal and felt like a dream. Jesse helped catch her (and he almost had to dive to do so, he adds) and he put her on my chest. Baby was screaming, covered in vernix and absolutely perfect. She weighed right at 8 lbs and was 19 1/2 inches long.
I held her and just stared at her precious face. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. I couldn't believe our girl was here. I couldn't believe she was safe and healthy. I couldn't believe we were parents. I couldn't believe I'd just given birth without an epidural--I was so proud! I told Jesse, "Can you believe I did that? I feel like a badass!" "Yes, you are!", he replied. My doula eventually stepped in and suggested I try nursing baby. She latched instantly and was such a great eater (and still is). After not nearly enough time with our girl, a nurse came and said they would have to take Rosemary to the nursery because her temperature was a little low. I was in shock that she was suggesting this because Jesse hadn't really had a chance to bond with her and that was so important to us. We told her that we didn't want her to go quite yet, so Jesse got to hold her for a little while. They took her to the nursery and I felt so devastated that I wasn't getting "the golden hour" with Rosemary. I totally realize that things went well and I am so incredibly thankful for that, but having them take our baby away and keep her for hours was a little traumatic and, in hindsight, I wish I'd fought it and suggested that we use skin to skin to help regulate her temp (something we learned in a class taught by a L & D nurse) since it was only one degree lower than where they wanted it. I know this is standard protocol for the nurses and they were doing what they felt was best for our baby, but I just wish it had happened differently.
I'd had a second degree tear, so I had to get a good bit of stitches. Thankfully, Dr. Shemwell did that while I was loving on sweet Rosemary, so she was a good distraction. Also, the nurses "kneading" on my tummy. I realize it's a necessary evil, but it's the closest I've come to wanting to assault someone. They wheeled me to a postpartum recovery room. Our stay in the hospital was not too bad. To this mama, who'd just given birth and was completely depleted, I thought the hospital food was wonderful (aside from the tea concentrate, which they forgot to add water to 😖). The staff were great and we were just completely overwhelmed with love for our new baby girl. Jesse may have cried as much as me. Such a beautiful sight to see my husband fall in love with our girl. Then thinking about how much more our Father loves us! That's all I could think about when I thought, "I didn't know it was possible to love like this." That God loves us even more than that..Overwhelming.
I am so thankful everything went well and I think doing research and preparing for the birth we wanted made a huge difference. I know unexpected things happen often and birth is so unpredictable, but it helped to have knowledge about the birth process. I never could have imagined that my labor would only be three hours, from start to finish. In hindsight, I know that I was having prodromal labor contractions from that Thursday to Saturday night, but I'm glad we did things the way we did. If we'd gone to the hospital when I was having contractions Friday or early Saturday, things likely would have gone differently. Our doula, Rebekah Honeycutt, was a huge blessing during my pregnancy and the labor and delivery process. If you are planning to give birth (especially an unmedicated birth), I definitely recommend a doula! If you're not familiar with what a doula does (I only leaned about doulas in the last few years), a doula is a professional trained in childbirth who provides emotional, physical, and educational support to a mother who is expecting, is experiencing labor, or has recently given birth. The doula’s purpose is to help women have a safe, memorable, and empowering birthing experience. (Definition from the American Pregnancy Association.) This is such an awesome way do describe what Rebecca did for us. She was gentle, kind, compassionate and extremely knowledgeable. She is also a midwife and has attended and assisted hundreds of births. I trusted her advice about my pregnancy and birth as much as I did Dr. Shemwell. I am 100% sure I wouldn't have had the birth that I did if it hadn't been for her. She guided us on what to do based on our preferences, her experience and her knowledge. Jesse was a little bit of a sceptic about the whole doula thing in the beginning, but after going through the birth experience with her help and support, he was convinced of the benefit of having a doula. The incredible birth photos were taken by Kelly Lowery. The fact that she ended up being our birth photographer and made it to the birth at all, as quickly as it all went, was such a God thing and I'm so thankful she was able to capture those moments. They are my favorite pictures of all time.
We headed home that Tuesday evening with our brand new girl. Jesse drove 10 MPH under the speed limit, and I insisted he was driving too fast the whole way home. We got settled in and just snuggled with and stared at Rosemary for the next week. We were so thankful for all of the food, visits, calls, encouragement and love from our friends and family.
We found out we were expecting in August of 2018. Prior to this, we went through the process of genetic testing to determine whether or not we were carriers of a specific gene mutation that my little brother, Cory, has. Cory has as a disorder called Methylemonicacidemia. After many prayers, we heard back that we were not carriers of that specific gene mutation. Praise the Lord. Just wanted to give a little context to our story.
My pregnancy was really considered “textbook”, and for that I am thankful. I had a pretty rough spell of morning sickness (re: all day sickness) from 5 or 6 weeks to around 10 weeks. We found out at 14 weeks that our sweet baby was a girl.
Getting to tell our parents was so much fun!
An actual miracle. I was in awe my entire pregnancy of this precious life growing in my belly.
We loved getting to find out that baby Adkins was a girl with folks we love!
My due date was May 1, 2019. I continued working and feeling pretty great for the most part. I was surprised how tired I was ALL the time. Not that it's surprising that growing a human is tiring, I just hadn't experienced it so I didn't realize just how tired I'd be. I had some normal swelling occasionally, but nothing ever too bad. Around 37 or 38 weeks I started having a lot of back pain, but I'd heard about an awesome chiropractor who specialized in prenatal care, Dr. Kayla Deshotel, so I started seeing her a couple of times a week until my due date and it really helped.
So after lots of research, our plan from the beginning was to just let baby come when she was ready, as opposed to setting an induction date. I had no idea that was going to turn into a whole thing. I thought it was interesting/amusing/at times frustrating how people reacted to that decision. At 20 weeks, a nurse at a prenatal visit was scheduling out my appointments and asked if I'd like to choose my induction date then. AT TWENTY WEEKS. I don't say this to criticize her, but I was in complete shock that it felt like I was being pushed to induce instead of letting my baby and body work together for her to come on her own. And this is not to knock anyone who chooses induction. I told my husband all along that if it was medically necessary, I would not hesitate to be induced. I was later informed by my doula and doctor that I was considered a "rebel" for choosing not to induce. Wild. This was all just new territory for me and I didn't realize induction was the new norm. I just assumed that babies still came like they have been from the beginning of time, and, you know..like in all the movies and stuff. Ha.
Angela ( Unveiled Radiance ) took some sweet maternity pictures when I was about 34 weeks.
So May 1st quickly approached and TBH I was getting pretty nervous. Nervous about giving birth. Nervous about being responsible for a tiny human. Nervous that I wouldn't be getting to do things I wanted to do or sleep. I started going to my weekly prenatal visits and Dr. Shemwell said that I was progressing and everything was looking favorable for labor. May 1st came and I was still pregnant. I went to what would be my last prenatal appointment and my doctor suggested a membrane sweep if I would like to avoid a medical induction. We did that and I went back to work. Like a dummy. I had a contraction or two at work, although I didn't know until days later that that was actually a contraction. I was in a lot of pain, so I headed home that afternoon. I took a nap and just took it really easy that evening. I decided not to go into work Friday and all of my work was done for the week, so I got lots of rest and woke up Friday ready to conquer the world and meet our girl! We went to Kiroli Park with the dogs and walked the trails (mind you, I'm over 40 weeks pregnant). We walked a modest 3ish miles. After grabbing some lunch and resting a little, I got my second wind and wanted to work in the garden. So we worked in the garden for the next 6 hours. I had some super manageable contractions that night. I used an app to time them. They were not consistent and not super painful so I didn't worry about it.
Saturday, I slept in and Jesse made us breakfast. We just rested, played Settlers of Catan and did a few last minute things to prepare for baby girl. Some of our good friends, Thom and Bekah, were in town from Alabama, we went to get Indian food and ice cream with them. I'd had inconsistent contractions off and on all day, but all very manageable. I had some contractions during dinner. Bekah is a doctor so I felt pretty safe and confident that I was good to just keep on as I was. Our plan was to just labor at home as long as possible before going to the hospital because I wanted to avoid medication and medical intervention. So we headed home from that dinner and I continued to have some contractions, getting a little more intense. But I'd never been in labor or had contractions, so I thought they were probably just very minor regular contractions or just intense Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Last bump picture. I knew baby felt and looked different and it was just a matter of time at that point.
I woke up at 2:45 a.m. on May 5th to a super intense contraction that got me out of bed and brought me to my knees. My water had slightly broken, but not like the splash you hear about, just a trickle. I got through the contraction and woke Jesse up with a "this is it"! He frantically got out of bed and came to help me. He started the contraction timer so that we could see how long they were and how far apart. One problem, they were longer and there was less time between them than what we'd learned about in classes or heard about. I thought..I'm sure my labor will be 12 hours. It's so rare for people to have quick labors, especially first-time moms. I'm sure we have time. Time for what, you ask? Why, to wash my hair, of course! It seemed like a really good idea at the time. I told Jesse and he said, "um..you think maybe we should call the doula and/or go to the hospital?" Absurd. Why would we do that?! So he started the shower for me and as I had one contraction on top of the other (no breaks in between), I decided that, yes, we should definitely call the doula and head to the hospital. Unless he's changed his mind about us having a home birth. Ha. (Just kidding, Mom!). Side note: In between these intense contractions, my body would bear down and push (fetal ejection reflex). I couldn't control it and it was such a weird experience. Our doula headed to our house to assess where we were, but after Jesse got everything in the car and I got dressed, I decided that I needed to be at the hospital, like, two hours ago, so we got in the car and headed to the hospital. Jesse called the doula back and asked her to head to the hospital. She was near our house, so she turned around and got on the interstate.
The next part of the story is one of Jesse's favorite parts (other than the meeting our daughter part). We got to Wallace Rd. (where the speed limit is 35 MPH). Jesse may or may not have doubled that. As he (my sweet, rule-following husband) sped down the road (with his flashers on) and I had a break from contractions I leaned over and said, "I'm so proud of you for speeding!" Ha. We got to the hospital (in record time). Jesse was communicating with our doula, called St. Francis L & D to let them know we were coming, gave me water and snacks (in between contractions), comforted, encouraged and praised me all while getting us there safely. He is a rockstar.
We arrived at SF a little after 4:00 a.m. Another detail that Jesse enjoyed from this part of the story is that when he got off the interstate, the hospital was RIGHT THERE. But in order to get right there, he had to turn the wrong way down a one-way street. Also, there was cop in the parking lot. He went for it anyway. We thought the officer would understand, and he did. We pulled into the ER parking area and walked to the elevators. One of my fears about going to the hospital in labor is that we were going to be required by security to give our IDs in order to go up to L & D (standard safety practice at SF) and get the slowest worker on earth (picture the sloth from Zootopia), who we'd encountered when we got checked in for our L & D tour a few weeks earlier. Thankfully, he was not working that night and the man working was absolutely terrified of my pregnant, laboring self so he gave us a pass.
We got checked in and headed to a L & D room. Side note, when we toured the hospital a few weeks before that, I'd asked about rooms that had tubs you could labor in. The nurse explained that there was only one updated room that had a tub you could labor in, but it was first come, first serve and very unlikely that we'd get that room. We got that room, but in true Alanis Morissette style (isn't it ironic?) I barely had time to labor in the hospital bed, much less the tub. Anywho, my contractions were pretty long and close together. One of the nurses checked me and, to my great disappointment, I was only 5 CM dilated. I thought that if I was in this much pain and only at a 5 that they could go ahead and bring that epidural and maybe a cupcake. I was experiencing the fetal ejection reflex (it is about as fun as it sounds), which means my body was bearing down and pushing without my help. After the nurses realized that my body was pushing and baby was as low as she could be without being born they frantically called Dr. Shemwell. She arrived ten minutes later (love her!).
She told me that baby was REALLY low and I could push when I was ready. I could not wrap my head around what she was saying because I was only dilated to a 5. I was sure my labor was going to be another 8 hours. Out of all the hundreds of birth stories I'd read and listened to, I'd never heard of anyone delivering before they were complete (10 CM dilated). I looked to Jesse for confirmation because I did not believe the doctor (who went to medical school and worked with pregnant women everyday..oops). He said, "it's true, I can see her head!" So I gave a few mighty pushes and at 5:46 on May 5th, our precious daughter, Rosemary Anne, was born. It was completely surreal and felt like a dream. Jesse helped catch her (and he almost had to dive to do so, he adds) and he put her on my chest. Baby was screaming, covered in vernix and absolutely perfect. She weighed right at 8 lbs and was 19 1/2 inches long.
I held her and just stared at her precious face. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. I couldn't believe our girl was here. I couldn't believe she was safe and healthy. I couldn't believe we were parents. I couldn't believe I'd just given birth without an epidural--I was so proud! I told Jesse, "Can you believe I did that? I feel like a badass!" "Yes, you are!", he replied. My doula eventually stepped in and suggested I try nursing baby. She latched instantly and was such a great eater (and still is). After not nearly enough time with our girl, a nurse came and said they would have to take Rosemary to the nursery because her temperature was a little low. I was in shock that she was suggesting this because Jesse hadn't really had a chance to bond with her and that was so important to us. We told her that we didn't want her to go quite yet, so Jesse got to hold her for a little while. They took her to the nursery and I felt so devastated that I wasn't getting "the golden hour" with Rosemary. I totally realize that things went well and I am so incredibly thankful for that, but having them take our baby away and keep her for hours was a little traumatic and, in hindsight, I wish I'd fought it and suggested that we use skin to skin to help regulate her temp (something we learned in a class taught by a L & D nurse) since it was only one degree lower than where they wanted it. I know this is standard protocol for the nurses and they were doing what they felt was best for our baby, but I just wish it had happened differently.
I'd had a second degree tear, so I had to get a good bit of stitches. Thankfully, Dr. Shemwell did that while I was loving on sweet Rosemary, so she was a good distraction. Also, the nurses "kneading" on my tummy. I realize it's a necessary evil, but it's the closest I've come to wanting to assault someone. They wheeled me to a postpartum recovery room. Our stay in the hospital was not too bad. To this mama, who'd just given birth and was completely depleted, I thought the hospital food was wonderful (aside from the tea concentrate, which they forgot to add water to 😖). The staff were great and we were just completely overwhelmed with love for our new baby girl. Jesse may have cried as much as me. Such a beautiful sight to see my husband fall in love with our girl. Then thinking about how much more our Father loves us! That's all I could think about when I thought, "I didn't know it was possible to love like this." That God loves us even more than that..Overwhelming.
Sweet daddy. He never let our girl leave his sight. When they had to take her to the nursery, he followed her there.
I am so thankful everything went well and I think doing research and preparing for the birth we wanted made a huge difference. I know unexpected things happen often and birth is so unpredictable, but it helped to have knowledge about the birth process. I never could have imagined that my labor would only be three hours, from start to finish. In hindsight, I know that I was having prodromal labor contractions from that Thursday to Saturday night, but I'm glad we did things the way we did. If we'd gone to the hospital when I was having contractions Friday or early Saturday, things likely would have gone differently. Our doula, Rebekah Honeycutt, was a huge blessing during my pregnancy and the labor and delivery process. If you are planning to give birth (especially an unmedicated birth), I definitely recommend a doula! If you're not familiar with what a doula does (I only leaned about doulas in the last few years), a doula is a professional trained in childbirth who provides emotional, physical, and educational support to a mother who is expecting, is experiencing labor, or has recently given birth. The doula’s purpose is to help women have a safe, memorable, and empowering birthing experience. (Definition from the American Pregnancy Association.) This is such an awesome way do describe what Rebecca did for us. She was gentle, kind, compassionate and extremely knowledgeable. She is also a midwife and has attended and assisted hundreds of births. I trusted her advice about my pregnancy and birth as much as I did Dr. Shemwell. I am 100% sure I wouldn't have had the birth that I did if it hadn't been for her. She guided us on what to do based on our preferences, her experience and her knowledge. Jesse was a little bit of a sceptic about the whole doula thing in the beginning, but after going through the birth experience with her help and support, he was convinced of the benefit of having a doula. The incredible birth photos were taken by Kelly Lowery. The fact that she ended up being our birth photographer and made it to the birth at all, as quickly as it all went, was such a God thing and I'm so thankful she was able to capture those moments. They are my favorite pictures of all time.
We headed home that Tuesday evening with our brand new girl. Jesse drove 10 MPH under the speed limit, and I insisted he was driving too fast the whole way home. We got settled in and just snuggled with and stared at Rosemary for the next week. We were so thankful for all of the food, visits, calls, encouragement and love from our friends and family.
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